before i could fall asleep~something cross my head...

i guess i'm currently facing a self-crisis here~i'm lost!LOST!hell yeah~sad but true~

its been months since those hectic yet productive lifestyle gone~

i'm superrrrrrrrrr lazyyyyyy since then ,

trying to pull myself out of it, but failed many times.

still trying ~doing a little by little~

but HEY!!! WAKE UP KELLY!! TIME IS NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOU!! START KICK SOME ASS AND RUNNNNN!!

i hav ideas i hav plan but simply it just didn't last and work out!

i'm so full of disappointment and frustration and eventually at times,

i dunno who am i , i seems lost with my career path and i'm not sure where am i heading now~

i'm growing older now and i'm disappointed at myself with the little archivement i got so far~

I WANT MORE AND I BELIEVE I CAN DO SOMETHING MORE!!GRRRRrrr

people says,when u grow older you become wiser~

and now here i am, growing older and maybe alil wiser,

it makes me even lazier to care about what's comes around,goes around.

sometimes i just prioritize my passion and puts everything behind,

certainly, it feels good and truely alive~

when the times come and step back and take lil look at things,

it seems that the short term happiness brought longer suffering in the years to come,

shud i refrain myself from keep on going ? then bump into life that's what's call REALITY?

i'm lost~

i'm back on blogging~

its been a while since October 2009, so coincidencely, now is october 2010~time seriously flies...

Icom studies ended like since July 2010~its the most amazing musical learning journey i ever had in my entire life~its all toughed and stressed~but that doesn't matter~i'm through it all with a smile~

missed those performing experiences there n those people who treated each other like a family~

it such a heartwarming and encouraging placet! n the lecturer there were really SPECIAL!

lolx

i like freddy teaching : though he is really harsh at times but i like it cuz its always makes me feeling sucks and be more hardworking and work my ass off !

Wee Lern & Gabriel: becoz of them my jazz piano playing improve lotsss! esp in improvisation!!^^

Frank : well...not many likes him and either me during 1st sem~but well my perception towards him change when he taught us PS(performance seminar)2. he's been really an encouraging and patience person throughout the semester teaching us.

Eric Li: an awesome jazz pianist (esp latin jazz)^^ always like his inspiring and motivating stories during the class( Ear training2). there's sometime my tears nearly fall as it meant so much...=')

misses the people there so much but well~unfortunately, my financial state doesn't allow me to continue further at the moment~life gotta goes on anyway~i'm still figuring out my way~my new plan and stuff~ lost my sense of direction since after icom~i'm so not used to my current lifestyle~ i love having a tight schedule and a hectic lifestyle~ i need to be pushhhh forwardddd and keep learning and discovering new stufff! sadly, i seems lost and passive right now~i'm stepping it out slowly~and walking my way out to a path that belongs to myself~

S.O.S!!!i need more motivation and encouragement!

back to school~ICOM~there i go finally~

times been flying speedily fast~

its been awhile i havent blog since icom's life started in july~

omg~life been crazeely tight up and LOTsa Fun!^^

though its really not easy to cop with so many stuff~sometime im still in a coping crisis~

tough but am still enjoying every beat of it!

meet lotsa new and great people around in coll! all my dearly classmate like kishern, kai yun, nicholas....etc. and some great seniors too like tim tang, shan, omar, farouk,....and the list keep going =)

lecturer were the ever greatest one i had ever met so far~lolxx

there's someone who teaches in a SO bloody diffent way~and it works~lolx

a life that i had always dream for had finally come true~a MUSIC STUDIES for real~lolx it will never come true without the strong support from my dear sis(LING) ~thank you sis for giving me so much of courage throughout this while to persue my dream that i had never dare to take action~lolx

everything in coll is great~esp the people , the environment...

but fees wise, sucking blood like more than a vampire do~and i'm serious!O.

so many thing is happenning now~to an extent that good rest is avoided~short cut rest is needed~

now kinda having a lil break now from contemp harmony revision, aha

gonna take a short nap then back to revision~pray hard for me~9am exam~woohoo=)

RIP MJ, LovE and missed alWays~

since the news spread last fri
i don't wanna believe it
my feeling is in total confusion
very sad and painful,
to learn the fact that
MJ, the king of pop is gone~

though its isn't really a bad thing that he is gone now,
as he finally found peace he had always seek for,
but still, its painful of losing his existence anymore,
hate to say, love at heart always,
this all remind me the moment i lose my father.

his music been influence me so much since i was a kid,
his passion and creativity for music,
his love for the children ,
his contribution to the world,
well.....the list keep going.......

tearful to know the way his life ended,
all those suffering during his existence,
an innocent child who are extremely talented,
passionate so much in performing and friendly.
his music and performance brought so much joy in living,
motivation, comfort.....etc

mostly all his music were written and talked about him,
esp those slow title like childhood, heal the world,earth song,ben,you're not alone,....
that's what makes me cry even more...
such a good mankind of music genius,
why must he deserve all these,

hard but life goes on,
times will heal the pain of losing u,
love at heart always,
your every spirits and messages to the every songs u make,
will stay and reach through generation to generation,
MJ never dies and forever be remmebered.
i'm thankful for having you being part of my life,
being able to enjoy all your music is truely a blessing.

i really do hope ya finally find your neverland in heaven
may you rest in peace and happy for eternity ~

Love always,
kelly (malaysia)

life a great gift

LIFE IS SUCH A GREAT GIFT

TOO PRICELESS AND PRECIOUS

THAT CONSTANTLY TAKEN FOR GRANTED

AND EASILY BECOME FRAGILE.

LIVING IS AN ARTISTIC PHILOSOPHY
GREATLY SOPHISTICATED, BEAUTIFUL

THUS CREATE WONDERFUL JOURNEY

IN EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL LIFE

NO MATTER WHAT

WHATEVER THE EVENTS ARE

ITS CRUEL BEING STUBBORN,

KEEP THE DEVIL'S MIND WINNING

ADDICTION IN FEELING

FORGOT IN REALISING

HOW WONDERFUL AND HAPPY

AN ORIGINAL LIFE IS

LIVING COMES IN MANY PHASES BASIS

BE IT GOOD OR BAD,

ITS JUST A PHASE,

WORRYING IS POWERLESS

AFTERALL LIFE ALWAYS HAS IT WAY OUT

LIVE LIFE AS HOW YOU WANTS TO ENJOY IT

THUS ONLY SEEK COMPLETE LIVING

AND HAPPINESS

DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY

^.^

no wrong no right

nothing perfect in life,

who without a flaws,

you.me.he or she?

well, no one does,

and that's human,

wants to risk and to feel,

be it pain or is glad,

so long that's for real

anyway, what a big deal,

somehow that's life,

to lose you gain something

to gain you lose something

you are nothing afterall

with an empty handed

comes to a world call earth

its okay if u make mistake

its okay if u lose everything

its okay if u into suffering

its okay if u into heartache

but,

be sure u did yr best,

with no regrets,

aware it , admit it,

learn from it, dont repeat it

life like a playground,

u fall , u play better

when u r better,

you be greater.

never give up,

on every falling

it your choice

be the greatest

or the worsest

-" nan de hu tu"-

cheer~

long for a good times

hard times yet to be over,

challenge seems to be greater,

what a life i often question

bitter sweet and sour

its all already doesn't matter

cause that's the natural cycle

hate or love

lost or found

dead or survive

angry or happy

stress or relax

and so so so on, every other feeling,

complex in feel , easy to show

good patience ,brings fortune

really really do,

long for a good times

a carefree and pampered time

to laugh freely, to play freely

just act freely without worryenjoy fully and get happy

no more stress and enemies

missed KK national park so so much'

wondering when will there b chancea

good walk at the warm cooling windy gardens

cross every lakes and hear bird sings

those beautiful sunrise and sunset that awaits

those pure fresh air that put into every breath

feeling the peace of nature that peace the soul

my body my mind my soul

can't wait to flew over such a place to rest
with a cup of hot coffee or tea
while enjoying the every beat of these
with peace and harmony