Thursday, October 8, 2009

back to school~ICOM~there i go finally~

times been flying speedily fast~

its been awhile i havent blog since icom's life started in july~
omg~life been crazeely tight up and LOTsa Fun!^^
though its really not easy to cop with so many stuff~sometime im still in a coping crisis~
tough but am still enjoying every beat of it!

meet lotsa new and great people around in coll! all my dearly classmate like kishern, kai yun, nicholas....etc. and some great seniors too like tim tang, shan, omar, farouk,....and the list keep going =)

lecturer were the ever greatest one i had ever met so far~lolxx
there's someone who teaches in a SO bloody diffent way~and it works~lolx

a life that i had always dream for had finally come true~a MUSIC STUDIES for real~lolx it will never come true without the strong support from my dear sis(LING) ~thank you sis for giving me so much of courage throughout this while to persue my dream that i had never dare to take action~lolx

everything in coll is great~esp the people , the environment...
but fees wise, sucking blood like more than a vampire do~and i'm serious!O.

so many thing is happenning now~to an extent that good rest is avoided~short cut rest is needed~

now kinda having a lil break now from contemp harmony revision, aha

gonna take a short nap then back to revision~pray hard for me~9am exam~woohoo=)




Thursday, July 2, 2009

RIP MJ, LovE and missed alWays~

since the news spread last fri
i don't wanna believe it
my feeling is in total confusion
very sad and painful,
to learn the fact that
MJ, the king of pop is gone~

though its isn't really a bad thing that he is gone now,
as he finally found peace he had always seek for,
but still, its painful of losing his existence anymore,
hate to say, love at heart always,
this all remind me the moment i lose my father.

his music been influence me so much since i was a kid,
his passion and creativity for music,
his love for the children ,
his contribution to the world,
well.....the list keep going.......

tearful to know the way his life ended,
all those suffering during his existence,
an innocent child who are extremely talented,
passionate so much in performing and friendly.
his music and performance brought so much joy in living,
motivation, comfort.....etc

mostly all his music were written and talked about him,
esp those slow title like childhood, heal the world,earth song,ben,you're not alone,....
that's what makes me cry even more...
such a good mankind of music genius,
why must he deserve all these,

hard but life goes on,
times will heal the pain of losing u,
love at heart always,
your every spirits and messages to the every songs u make,
will stay and reach through generation to generation,
MJ never dies and forever be remmebered.
i'm thankful for having you being part of my life,
being able to enjoy all your music is truely a blessing.

i really do hope ya finally find your neverland in heaven
may you rest in peace and happy for eternity ~

Love always,
kelly (malaysia)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

life a great gift

LIFE IS SUCH A GREAT GIFT

TOO PRICELESS AND PRECIOUS

THAT CONSTANTLY TAKEN FOR GRANTED
AND EASILY BECOME FRAGILE.

LIVING IS AN ARTISTIC PHILOSOPHY
GREATLY SOPHISTICATED, BEAUTIFUL

THUS CREATE WONDERFUL JOURNEY

IN EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL LIFE
NO MATTER WHAT
WHATEVER THE EVENTS ARE



ITS CRUEL BEING STUBBORN,

KEEP THE DEVIL'S MIND WINNING
ADDICTION IN FEELING
FORGOT IN REALISING
HOW WONDERFUL AND HAPPY
AN ORIGINAL LIFE IS



LIVING COMES IN MANY PHASES BASIS
BE IT GOOD OR BAD,
ITS JUST A PHASE,
WORRYING IS POWERLESS
AFTERALL LIFE ALWAYS HAS IT WAY OUT


LIVE LIFE AS HOW YOU WANTS TO ENJOY IT
THUS ONLY SEEK COMPLETE LIVING
AND HAPPINESS


DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY

^.^

Friday, March 6, 2009

no wrong no right

nothing perfect in life,
who without a flaws,
you.me.he or she?
well, no one does,
and that's human,
wants to risk and to feel,
be it pain or is glad,
so long that's for real
anyway, what a big deal,
somehow that's life,
to lose you gain something
to gain you lose something
you are nothing afterall
with an empty handed
comes to a world call earth
its okay if u make mistake
its okay if u lose everything
its okay if u into suffering
its okay if u into heartache
but,
be sure u did yr best,
with no regrets,
aware it , admit it,
learn from it, dont repeat it
life like a playground,
u fall , u play better
when u r better,
you be greater.
never give up,
on every falling
it your choice
be the greatest
or the worsest
-" nan de hu tu"-
cheer~

Monday, February 23, 2009

long for a good times

hard times yet to be over,
challenge seems to be greater,
what a life i often question
bitter sweet and sour
its all already doesn't matter
cause that's the natural cycle



hate or love
lost or found
dead or survive
angry or happy
stress or relax
and so so so on, every other feeling,
complex in feel , easy to show
good patience ,brings fortune

really really do,
long for a good times
a carefree and pampered time
to laugh freely, to play freely
just act freely without worryenjoy fully and get happy
no more stress and enemies





missed KK national park so so much'
wondering when will there b chancea
good walk at the warm cooling windy gardens
cross every lakes and hear bird sings
those beautiful sunrise and sunset that awaits
those pure fresh air that put into every breath
feeling the peace of nature that peace the soul
my body my mind my soul
can't wait to flew over such a place to rest
with a cup of hot coffee or tea
while enjoying the every beat of these
with peace and harmony

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

current iceky is expired, in a process of renew.

i was depressed, in silence for awhile
tried running away and cudn't accept the fact,
both incident make the peak of hardship in my life ,
was not comfortable in revealing much, and worst,
i couldn't help myself and i dare not turn to anyone
for a period of time.

finally,when i took out my courage to face it ,
every suspects, probs and reason simply,
too crazy clear to understood and hell sad but true,
its too late to know all about....and is finale
the alternative option becomes too limited
in short, no choice

well, not too bad as to obtained more understanding
knowing your back ups',
as to serve any possible worst event could ever happen

lesson learnt: no matter wut comes up that unknown to u ,
make yourself well-knowledge towards it by all means.
do not make decission emotionally.
not giv in to anyone(included yr family/friend) interfere/ influence your decission, your freedom of right.
not sure, not know wut to do, get the right person and talk it out.
gather enough infor and back up your decission.

i was wondering, how many of u would agree on this?
when u look at something at its best , shud hav look at it worst as well

its like every human born and will die one day,
its a fact.u do not hav a choice
but live with it

whereby in life, u hav a choice ,
the power to think and to make a wise decission,
why must let the tendency to falls at the tricks of life?
instead hav a deeper though at things at its whole ?

when can imagine sumthing so great,
must oso not forgetting the worst side of it.
if u couldn't accept the worst side,
then don carry on.
that simple.

" do not blinded by the short term sweetness and
continue a wrong doing that risking/ damaging the future"

in life there are countless shutting door ,
to wut u want or against one's expectation.
but i believe is with hardship and sound mind...
one's will definately create an open door for yourself.
in short, its really not necessary to be such aggresive at things.
take your time, stop being emo/mental block, and hav a clearer state of mind.
why giv into the mess and confussion?
instead, hav your own space of though or get the right person to talk to....

another thing,
your are your fate controller of your life.
do not hav the tendancy to let fate misleading your life.
do your best, have no regrets.
failing or success doesn't matter.
sumhow, there's no perfection in life.
but through constant effort in learning, sharing, understanding,respects,patience...etc
be it family, relationship, career,.......etc
keep an open mind, do your own thinking
your mind and heart will contribute the best answer.
the rights and the wrongs
everyone deserve happiness in life,
kick start and archeive it
nothing is impossible.

i will die one day i know.
be it tonight, tmr, or someday in future,
accidentally or naturally.
to accept the fact, i had tried my best
to live the best out of me.
i only live once and i want it at it best.
but simply, to archieve it,
u gotta stay tough and walk through all the challenge in life
the learning process aint easy,
its always new and getting tougher,
i'm sure not many like it guess,
u just need to make it intresting for yourself
i like this phrase " welcome challenge with preparation(knowledge)"
i believe, that's the way
to stand through all trouble waters in life.

sometimes, i seriously wish i could turn back time
do things at its right way
not giv in to my weak point
not being disappointed of myself or the result
not wasting much time and constantly,
making all the stubborn careless mistake.
too sad but true, only the hard way,
makes human truely learn and appreciate,
what life is all about.

for all the ladies, i want to remind all of you,
control your emotional state and be strong.
think for others at the same time think of yourself too.
its not about selfish, its about you and your future.
to helps there's a limitation. not helping is not a sin.
dun feel sorry. u must remember,
nothing is reliable in this real world and
u are your own safe guard and security creator.
nvr be afraid and hav the courage to stand up for your right
stop dreaming and be realistic
there's no such thing like what the fairytale stories tells,
there will be everlasting love or happiness
if only by working it out constantly together,
be sound and open minded.
this secure u, your family, your children.

life with me been stuck for while
real hard, tough and f*** up.
its time for sum silence and space for sum thought.
hereby wanna expired myself,
i needed time to walk back on my past again ,
to hav a good look at all the mistake i had make,
picks up the lessons learnt and plan the future i want.
i will come back continue blogging
when i'm ready for a renewal of iceky life
back soon.

last but not least, thank you so so much
all my dear friend who never giv up on me,
giving me countless love,supports,concerned....etc
thanks for lending a hand in my growing process
its all always remembered and appreciated
till the day of my last breath
to repay u, i will make sure to take good care of myself,
^.^

lotsa misses and love.
-kelly-

Monday, February 16, 2009

appreciation list throughtout this while of my hardness period of all

thank you Ooi, for constant advised, helps, guidance, knocking my head hard, making me miserable, pushing me hard to grow up and hav deeper thought and realisation.
" sorry for making u disappointed, thank you for everything. still friends?"

thank you Chang, for talking, listening, advised, keep a simple & +ive mind out d shit
" sorry for bothering, thank you for keeping, understanding and sharing"

thank you Yee, for the constant cares, guides, advised and supportive
" sorry for the sudden shit and causing worries, thank you for everything"

thank you Wan, for being there to talk to, concerned, pulling me out from devils hand , supportive and intro me to D.
" lov u gal....thank you so much.....hugz hugz"

thank you D'niz, for talking, helping in giving useful infor & solution, clear my mind and intro me to L " i wud hav collapsed long ago if i hav not met u. so much to say....and yea......dinner on me soon "

thank you Lee , for the professional advised, helps, putting me in less worries and stress for awhile, given useful infor and solution....

" MR.joker, i seriously owe u more than a thank you.....meet soon for dinner together with D"

thank you char siew Raj, for yr concerned, advised, guidance, long distant call....
" omg, so sorry to got u make the long distance call from aussie, well...actually i prefer a free air tix eh....lolz....jkjk....thank you for everything"

beside, thank you shern,yeoh, loong,wee for talking me out....

everything been in settle state now and im successfully in the next level of life now.
thank you so much for being there and helping in going through a roller coaster life in me for a awhile. thank you and appreciated.

Friday, February 6, 2009

thank you robert kiyosaki....

for once i had make fun of this book " rich dad, poor dad "
by just looking at the cover title...

but now....i totally learnt my lessons.."dun judge a book by its cover"

tremendous thankfulness to mr. Robert for its content
its been so helpful and my clog mind had finally in relieve a lil
to my surprise....those were so true and make sense....

" to spend life living in fear, never exploring your dreams is cruel"

"to work hard for money and thinking that money will buy you things that make u happy is cruel"

"going into our fear and confronting our greed, weaknesses, neediness is the way out. the way out is through the mind by choosing our thoughs."

" used your mind and emotions in your favor.not against u. be an observer to your emotion. learn to do your own thinking."

alot more good phrases around

tot just finish the quarter of it

too bad ....its really time to sleep now..sigh

seriously can't wait to discover more about it soon...

this book is totally highly recomended to all....its provides great fundamental knowledge about money and life.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

sleepness night

cried hardly earlier on the way back home.
tot its totally not right to drive and cry
and i suppose after cry and talk surely can sleep well...
but....sigh

its already been a month long yet to hav good night sleep
tot mentally stress & exhausted sometimes gav a better sleep
i skip reading tonight for i was really tired and i know i needed good rest
but well.....not sure its the pillow problem or my mind problem...

is another sleepless night again tonight
start rolling on the bed since 2am till now which is 4am....
tired...really tired....
but my mind simply couldn't put my physical body to rest
seriously f*** up

a very mess and confusing mind
that cudn't find a good reason to rest
and guess its time to change a new pillow also...aiks.

moving out is on my mind again...
well...seriouslly wanted a change so much ,
being myself and live the way out of it
dun get me wrong,
not about running away from problems,
just needed a clearer state of mind
stay out of shit and proceed in life.

home sweet home is wonderful
but i've lost the security out of it since
i dunno who i am now,
am in fear, lost, stress.....
in short...depression


well....gtg try sleeping now...night everyone.

Monday, February 2, 2009

exhausted day

feeling so so exhausted since woke up at noon
not knowing why but somehow gottta kick-start the day

send my naughty bro to school
send my mum to work
send myself to bank then off to collect my newly framed picture

surprisingly that frame shop were located in a place i knew...
coincidencely same row as the paintball shop which i once visited last year
hate that place! parking is huge huge problem!
totally got fed up after a few turning but still no parking available.
not knowing wut to do, so i followed 1 black estima in double parking
then quickly jump out from the car and get done of my collection
thank god....no summon...lol

right after that...heavy rain .
it becomes a even good reason to do some window shop at the nearby shopping store!

so there i went,IKANO POWER CENTRE...
to check out those intrested keyboard
GOSH....gotta cracked my head again...sigh
simple YAMAHA(p-85) with great sound only or
CASIO(cdp200) with average sound + multiple function?
kinda tempted to get casio....cuz can play around with lotsa stuff...
aiks....think think think!!

then my next station, popular book store....
reading around and around
not even realise 2 half hours passes by then...lolz
there i bought 4 intresting book
including 1 for my big bro(rich dad poor dad), hopefully he would really finish reading it
cuz i had never see him read more than a quarter of a book but he wanted it so much...lolz

bfore leaving, bought some popiah to munch in the car while driving....nice nice~~
but some reckless driver really got me irritated
good thing i'm in a peace of mood...arghh...dun care...so long i hav a safe journey

still feeling exhausted now. hopefully a lil rest wud help
can't wait to discover my new bought book....^.^

screwed up life.sigh

life has come to a blurry kinda state
so lifeless , careless, useless, and moodless

phases of life keep changing,
can't help that stupid feeling,
motto of life gotta keep going,
but simply now its isn't growing

i'm like the dummiest of the world,
wonder why easily i got weaken,
everything aint working.
hardly sees the light of waking,

dream that possibly true aint true,
love that possibly works aint works,
works that possibly grow aint grow
self that supposingly strong aint strong

a total change is needed,
time would be the best mentor,
to walk through all sorrow
i will be the real me again

simply now, i'm in too much of emotions...
all those disappointment knocked me at once
thousands times i tell myself dun think and its all a mind tricks
but yet, i curled up and cry during some nights
when holding back had reach it peaks

tot i never to expect nor put high hope at things,
tot im prepared to accept those possible negative outcome,
tot i hav been strong and mature enough in handling those,
tot i might be stupid but not blinded,
tot.....

well, the choke from the heart barely could explained,
knowing even well that i had successfull in wrong side of life
lost is wut i am.
lost. total lost....
total lost that needed total change.

but barely i could find the will to help myself.....