screwed up life.sigh

life has come to a blurry kinda state
so lifeless , careless, useless, and moodless

phases of life keep changing,
can't help that stupid feeling,
motto of life gotta keep going,
but simply now its isn't growing

i'm like the dummiest of the world,
wonder why easily i got weaken,
everything aint working.
hardly sees the light of waking,

dream that possibly true aint true,
love that possibly works aint works,
works that possibly grow aint grow
self that supposingly strong aint strong

a total change is needed,
time would be the best mentor,
to walk through all sorrow
i will be the real me again

simply now, i'm in too much of emotions...
all those disappointment knocked me at once
thousands times i tell myself dun think and its all a mind tricks
but yet, i curled up and cry during some nights
when holding back had reach it peaks

tot i never to expect nor put high hope at things,
tot im prepared to accept those possible negative outcome,
tot i hav been strong and mature enough in handling those,
tot i might be stupid but not blinded,
tot.....

well, the choke from the heart barely could explained,
knowing even well that i had successfull in wrong side of life
lost is wut i am.
lost. total lost....
total lost that needed total change.

but barely i could find the will to help myself.....